Spiritual abuse is a real phenomenon that actually happens in the body of Christ. It is a subtle trap in which the ones who perpetrate spiritual abuse on others are just as trapped in their unhealthy beliefs and actions as those whom they, knowingly or unknowingly, abuse.
On October 23, 2011, I was ordained into the ministry of Jesus Christ by the Church Within A Church Movement. In that moment, I felt a sense of redemption and release from the abuse I experienced as a candidate for ordination in the United Methodist Church. The relief was profound, and yet not sufficient to heal the wounds of years of spiritual abuse suffered under the power and authority of Bishop’s of the UMC.
The breaking news about the sexual abuse within the football programs at Penn State caused me to reflect on the intersections of abuse. Sexual abuse is abuse of power. Relationship abuse (domestic abuse and rape within relationships of trust) is abuse of power. Spiritual abuse is also abuse of power.
The Church Within A Church Movement is committed to ending all forms of oppression. Oppression is unjust, excessive, or cruel use of power. Over the course of history, the most common abuses of power have acquired special names: tyranny, colonialism, slavery, racism, sexism, lynching, rape, bullying, child and elder abuse, domestic violence, sexual harrassment, corporate corruption, clergy misconduct, homophobia.
Dr. Robert Fuller coined the term, rankism, to describe this continuum. Rankism is abusive, discriminatory, or exploitative behavior towards people who have less power because of their lower rank in a particular hierarchy.
Jesus had something to say about rankism before the word was ever coined. Nowhere more insistent than in Matthew 23: 6-12,
“They love to have the place of honor at banquets and the best seats in the synagogues, and to be greeted with respect in the marketplaces, and to have people call them rabbi. But you are not to be called rabbi, for you have one teacher, and you are all students. And call no one your father on earth, for you have one Father—the one in heaven. Nor are you to be called instructors, for you have one instructor, the Messiah. The greatest among you will be your servant. All who exalt themselves will be humbled, and all who humble themselves will be exalted.”
Pulling rank seems to be part of human nature. We need to be able to distinguish between the legitimate and illegitimate uses of rank. The problem is not power and authority per se, but the abuse thereof. There are competitive advantages to be won by non-rankist organizational structures, as described in the best-selling business book, The Starfish and the Spider: The Unstoppable Power of Leaderless Organizations.
Rankism exacts a toll on leadership. This brings me back to my story of abuse within the United Methodist system. The church needs spiritual entrepreneur’s or transformational leaders. The church needs equipping pastors; leaders who use their positional authority to empower and inspire other leaders rather than protect their rank. However, the United Methodist Church is burdened by a leadership deployment system that was built for the industrial age, an age where the church hierarchy aligned nicely with social and industrial hierarchies. The hierarchical leadership culture forces gifted leaders out of the church.
Ordained Elders within the United Methodist Church have an almost guaranteed right to an appointment to Pastor a church. Bishop’s have nearly absolute authority, within the confines of Book of Discipline, to make the appointments to individual churches. In theory this relationship is a covenant, or mutual promise between Ordained Elders and Bishops to use the power of appointment appropriately to advance the mission of the church. The danger of this covenant is the inherent tendency towards dishonesty and deference to rank that status (hierarchy) induces. Within the UMC, it has created a culture where people cease relating to Bishops as fallible human beings. Decisions made by Bishops cannot be questioned, and are often subject to strict secrecy codes.
When a candidate for ordination is treated unjustly either by a Bishop or by a District Superintendent, there is no place to turn to seek justice. A complaint about abuse or harassment must be filed with the hierarchy. A complaint raised with the Board of Elders or Board of Ordained ministry, offers insufficient protection for the victim of the injustice because the majority of the people hearing the complaint serve under the appointment authority of the Bishop. There are consequences for speaking truth to power.
There are many things that happened during my years in the United Methodist ordination and appointment process. The specific abuses began with a public lie from a District Superintendent about a decision to remove the Associate Pastor from our church. Two years later, there was another lie communicated in an email from the Dean of the Cabinet. The hierarchy can justify their lies about appointments based on their need to protect the secrecy of their appointment decisions, but nevertheless, they lied. They lie all the time.
Later, when I married another United Methodist Elder, the dynamics changed and the power became coercive and threatening. Now the Bishop not only had power over my employment, he also had power over my husband’s employment. We were threatened with the financial likelihood of surviving on one half time appointment at the conference minimum salary, and moving my husband 500 miles away from his twelve year old son.
When we refused that offer, the pressure increased. There was almost no consideration for the dire financial situation of the congregation that I was serving. In an ultimate show of power and authority, the Bishop demanded I attend a meeting with him and two District Superintendent’s in Portland. Before he would announce my husband’s new appointment (scheduled to be publicly announced the following Sunday), he wanted to make sure that I agreed to ask for a voluntary leave of absence. I angrily refused to be forced to submit to another lie to protect the secrecy of the Bishop’s right to make appointments.
This stand-off with the Bishop created an obstacle in my path towards ordination. I had been commissioned as a provisional Elder in another Annual Conference, and was serving under a cross-conference appointment. I applied for a part time youth ministry job. Unfortunately the hiring process quickly ended up falling under the Bishop’s authority, and that led to another false representation that I was serving under an appointment. Midway through the appointment year, I brought the misrepresentation out into the open in a valiant attempt to break through the stand-off and create a path that would eventually lead to ordination.
There is no safe way to tell the Emperor that he has no clothes, and there is no way to confront a Bishop (let alone two) about the errors in their decisions or the abuse of their power. Confronting an abuse of power only leads to more abuse. One Bishop had the authority to deny my request to transfer annual conferences. Another Bishop had the authority to issue an ultimatum, serve under appointments and under special disciplinary procedures, live over five hundred miles away from my husband for an undetermined number of years, or voluntarily discontinue my process, or face disciplinary termination for failing to submit to the appointment authority of the office of Bishop.
I made my choice to stop the abuse. I made the choice to seek another path towards ordination. I made the choice to be ordained into Jesus movement, not a hierarchical institution. I applied for ordination in the Church Within A Church movement.
Clearly, I have issues with hierarchical authority. I cannot tolerate rankism. Neither can I tolerate sexism, racism, bullying, sexual abuse, or any other misuse of power. On the other hand, I am a devoted disciple of Jesus Christ. I am in good company.
Jesus would not approve of the abuses of power perpetrated by United Methodist Bishops. Jesus would not approve of rankism in the Body of Christ. Jesus was subjected to spiritual abuse by the leaders of his religious tradition. He was crucified for speaking truth to power. He laid down his life for those who were powerless against the forces of rankism. But his death was not the end. He arose from the grave, and through his resurrection we know that love wins. The power of love cannot be defeated by the love of power.
The process of healing from the spiritual abuse of the United Methodist Church has only just begun. My husband still serves under the authority of the same Bishop who abused me. We live in a parsonage owned by a United Methodist congregation. My health insurance coverage is through my husband’s job. There is no appointment for me, no pulpit, no congregation for me to serve. I live with the constant reminder of what I have lost, the opportunity to be a United Methodist Pastor.
I no have any desire to be a United Methodist Pastor. I would not choose to travel the same road. I see the rankism, sexism, racism, heterosexism and the spiritual abuse of the church so clearly now. And yet, I grieve the loss of being a Pastor. The pain is still present, the wounds are deep. In time I pray that the wounds will heal.
